


Our firsts and lasts

by sprinklednana



Series: in this dream, we're forever [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Fluff, Friendship, Graduation, Growing Up Together, Holding Hands, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, dreamies and yukhei only mentioned, jaemin loves them all so much, jeno is a complete sweetheart, the dreamies + yukhei love each other so much okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 17:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15248799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklednana/pseuds/sprinklednana
Summary: Jaemin is scared. Jeno is there to hold his hand.





	Our firsts and lasts

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by NCT Dream's My first and Last MV and Dream's Miracle dance practice. I also keep on thinking about dream not being a fixed unit so here yo go. This is sadness masked in fluff and hope and love lmao. Tell me what you think about it! <3

 

Jaemin is just laying there on his back, taking in the cool of his room, the softness of the mattress, the warmth of the blankets, and the heat emitting from the dark haired boy laying next to him.

 

“What is it, Nana?” The dark haired boy says, prodding but careful, “I can practically hear you thinking and worrying yourself out.”

 

“It’s just…” he trails off, “We’re really graduating tomorrow, Jen. Tomorrow’s the last time we’re gonna see most of the people we’ve been seeing our _whole_ lives. It’s just so… Is this — Is this what Mark and Yukhei felt last year?”

 

He remembers Mark and Yukhei’s graduation like it was just yesterday. He remembers crying rivers along with Donghyuck and Renjun. He remembers Jeno trying to be strong for all of them. He remembers Chenle trying to crack jokes to make all of them laugh. He remembers Jisung not making fun of Mark and Yukhei for once. 

 

He remembers Mark kissing all of them on the head, even when he insists that he hates skinship. He remembers Yukhei being so uncharacteristically quiet and looking at all of them with a sad smile.

 

They’re both in college now, studying in neighbouring universities in Seoul. They’re both busy trying to make their way into the world on their own.

 

“Hey… Mark and Yukhei still talk to us right? They always go out of their way to visit us. They’ve got their own friends now, but we’re their family.” 

 

“But it’s not the way it used to be…. I don’t blame them or anything. I just — I’m happy for them. And so so so incredibly proud. I just — I miss them a lot.”

 

Jeno turns to his side, now facing the brown haired boy, “They miss us too. So much. I know they do.”

 

The younger boy sighs, “I know. I feel bad for feeling bad. I mean, _we_ are still together. And you and Injun and Hyuckie and I are graduating together. It must’ve been so hard for them both, to be the ones graduating first. God I can’t even imagine being in their position. Imagine leaving all of us. Or to be in Chenle and Jisung’s position? _God_ — I can’t even… _My babies_ … They’re really gonna be facing their last year without us. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to leave them.”

 

The older boy reaches out a hand to run his fingers through the other’s hair gently, “Hey, hey. Don’t feel bad, okay? It’s okay to miss them. We all do. It’s okay to have a hard time saying goodbye. To be honest... I'd -  I’d take you guys with me everywhere I go if I could. I really would, Nana.”

 

The younger boy turns his head and locks eyes with older, “ _I wish I had seven hands to hold each of yours and never ever ever let go._ ” 

 

It was finally sinking in. Jaemin would be going to a university an hour away from Jeno. Hyuck would be going to the same university as Mark. Renjun was still unsure about whether going to the same university as Yukhei or taking up the offer from a well known university in China. 

 

The younger boy feels the sinking of his chest and the burning of his throat. Before he can help it, he feels a hot tear escape the corner his eye. 

 

“We’re _really_ growing up, aren’t we, Jen?”

 

The dark haired boy wipes his tear stained cheeks and smiles sadly, “We are, Jaem. I know it’s scary. But you have me. You have Mark and Yukhei and Hyuckie and Injun and Lele and Jisung. It’s never gonna be the same again. But at the end of the day, you’ll still have us.”

 

The younger boy can’t help the sob that escapes his lips, “I’m gonna m-miss you so much, Jen.”

 

Jeno trails his hands from the younger’s hair to his neck, to his shoulder, to his arm, and settles on the younger boy’s hand. He intertwines their fingers. _Careful._ “I’m gonna call you everyday. I’m gonna pick you up on weekends so we could go home together and visit Sung and Lele. We’re gonna meet up with Yukhei and Mark and Injun and Hyuckie whenever we can. We’re still gonna have the sleepovers we used to have all the time. Just less of them now. We’re still gonna visit the fields. We basically grew up in there, we’re not gonna leave it anytime soon. No one’s gonna miss anyone’s birthday. We’ll be okay, Nana.”

 

“You promise?” The younger boy whispers.

 

“I promise.” 

 

“I love all of you so much.” The younger boy says for about the thousandth time. 

 

And he does. He loves them all so so so much. 

 

His best friends. His family. His home. 

 

“And we love you, Na.” 

 

The younger boy wipes at his tears with his other hand and smiles, “When did we all grow up, Jen?” He laughs a little before continuing, “I remember discovering things with you guys. I remember figuring things out for the first time with all of you.”

 

Jeno chuckles a little and moves their joint hands, “Remember when were kids and our parents took us all to the beach and we swam for the first time?”

 

The younger laughs, “We were all so terrified of our eyes hurting because we didn’t know it was just salt water. And Jisung was so scared of the ocean, he wouldn't stop clinging to Mark and I.”

 

“He always trusted you guys the most.”

 

“That’s because all of you were trying to throw him in the second we got there!”

 

Jeno laughs, all eyesmiles and deep laughter, “We were so stupid back then. We would climb trees and play in the rain and wreak havoc wherever we go.”

 

“It got worse when we were in high school,” Jaemin giggles, “We would always mess shit up in school. _Jesus_. I don’t know how our parents handled us.”

 

“I don’t know how _Mark_ handled us.” The both of them giggled louder.

 

Thinking about Mark always warms their hearts. Although Yukhei was their oldest, Mark was the one who took care of all of them. Mark basically raised seven children singlehandedly.

 

When their giggles died down, the younger boy closes his eyes.

 

“You guys were my world. _Are_ my world. All of my firsts where with you. Injun was my first crush, Jesus, what the _hell_ was I thinking? Mark was my first dance. I rode the rollercoaster and all the scary rides with Hyuck and Lele for the first time. Jisung’s first word was _Nana_. Mom told me I couldn’t stop smiling for a week after that. I married Yukhei when we were in 3rd grade. I — you were my first kiss. My first love… I — I can’t believe I’m gonna be without any of you for longer than two hours for the first time in my life.”

 

Jaemin knows that Jeno is hurting as much as he is, but he knows the older boy is trying to be strong for all of them. He knows the older loves them more than anything in the world. He’d do anything for them. He’s always been like that. Their _protector_. 

 

_Jaemin is gonna love him for the rest of his life._

 

The older boy hums and pulls his hand away from the other’s. Without words, he slides his arm underneath Jaemin’s neck and pulls the younger boy to his chest, wrapping his free arm around the other’s waist. 

 

“Look at it this way, Nana. We’re gonna be busy during college. We’re gonna see and talk to each other less frequently, yeah. But after that, we’re gonna have all the time in the world to talk about everything that happened when we were apart. We have to grow, Jaems, and we have to do it on our own from now on. That’s okay.”

 

“You promise?”

 

“I promise,” Jeno presses a kiss on his head, “Then when we're done growing, we’re all gonna spend our lasts together. Our last night out. And we’re gonna dance as hard as we can with our aching bones. We’re gonna have playdates with all of our children. We’re gonna be old and grey and we’d spend our last slow exercise walks in the morning together. We’re gonna have our last roasting Mark session all together, and we’d have a hard time laughing without coughing but it would be okay. Because we’d be together. You’re gonna be my last kiss. _My last love_.”

 

Jaemin looks at him and smiles, warmth from his heart spreading all over his body.

 

“Is this your way of proposing to me, Lee Jeno? I’m barely _eighteen_!” The younger boy laughs when the older pouts.

 

“Do you not want to marry me?”

 

The younger boy presses a soft kiss to the dark haired boy’s lips, “Ofcourse I do dumbo, who else would I marry?”

 

The older boy smirks and leans in to give him a longer, deeper kiss, then pulls away slightly “I don’t know. You _did_ marry Yukhei.”

 

Jaemin snorts, “Third grade me had poor decision making skills.”

 

“I bet. You guys broke third grade Injun’s heart.”

 

The younger boy smiles evilly, “I’m still rooting for them.”

 

“It’s only a matter of time, Nana. Don’t meddle.” The older boy warns, a stern look on his face.

 

The brown haired boy pouts, “But they’re taking too long. Their mutual pining is _suffocating_ me.”

 

The older boy sighs and presses his lips to the brown haired boy’s eyebrow, “They’ll make it work. I trust them to be brave enough to confess — well, Injun at least.”

 

The younger hums, pressing his palm to the older boy’s chest, “You think Lele and Jisungie will be okay in school?”

 

Jeno snorts, “You think _the school_ would be okay without anyone there to control Lele and Jisung?” Jaemin giggles as the older boy continues, “They’d be fine. Jisung’s gonna miss you the most out of all of us probably. Lele’s probably gonna cry a lot too. But they’d be together. I don’t trust them with anything else but I trust them with each other.”

 

The younger boy runs his fingers over and over again on the older’s collarbones.

 

“You’re right, Jen. We’d be fine.”

 

The older boy places his forehead against the other’s, brushing their noses together lightly. “Yeah, I am. So stop worrying your pretty little head, baby.”

 

Jaemin smiles, bright and beautiful, before kissing the older boy’s lips. Long and deep and careful and gentle and soft and intimate. 

 

“I love you so much, Jeno. I do.”

 

Jeno presses a short kiss to the corner of the younger’s mouth.

 

“I love you too, baby. Now sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

“You promise?”

 

“I promise.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic! This was written in one seating so perhaps this is basically word vomit lol i'm sorry. Please tell me what you think about it! Your comments honestly mean a lot to me.
> 
> Comment down or talk to me on twitter, my @ is sprinklednana .
> 
> I have other fics too! Check it out if you want! Also I recently made an ig, follow me there afkjnsfkgn i'm nanasjongin <3


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